Jason Fetz called me thirty six times last night. I can prove it.
I woke up this morning and checked my phone (as one typically does), it said clearly, " missed calls. Jason Fetz (36)". The text messages were worse. Though i only got 8 of those.
here's a preview...

jason, hello, its me jason fetz

why wont you pick up ur phone?

all i want to do is to doo doo on your chest,

and then eat all the doo doo off of your

chest, and then doo doo that doo doo that

i ate back on to the chest that i doo doo-ed

on earlier. k. call me back.

When i called him back this morning to ask "what the fuck" Jason Fetz simply replied.

"i love ca ca all over my boner

i am a pretty girl that is also a

man liker. i like men and ca ca.

im a big homosexual with an

intense ca ca addiction."

to which i can only say "fair enough."

his words. not mine.