jason turner often refers to his own style of dress as " foodin ". Before a night on the town, he will put down the book he was pretending to read and say "alright ya'lls, lets go foodin". This means he figures out some kind of meal or snack, that he will literally incorporate into his outfit. last friday he had to take a separate car from the others in his alcoholics anonymous mixer at tgi fridays, because he had decided to fill his shirt pockets with taco meat. It is his comfort in his own skin that makes him capable of pulling off empty cat food cans as a necklace, or smearing peanuty chocolate across his upper lip as a bold statement about never holding back.

he once rolled around in ranch vegetable dip, sprinkled some wasabi peas on his ranch coating, and walked right out into a sunny afternoon in center city- never thinking once about the legality of being entirely nude other than a thin coating of ranch dip and wasabi peas. jason turner has guts. the kind of guts that make you forget his violent racism.

he will often go so far as to devise a scent that will accompany his attire. today was "biker bar" where he lightly sprayed gas from a gas pump under his cut-off jean shorts (filled with cheesedogs). this particular choice of scent also explains why jason turners testicles are all scabbed up.

i wish i had half of jason turners courage

and 6-7 times his intelligence